The Jordan visit

चलो USA चलें,लंदन चलें पेरिस चलें …… छोड़ो हम चले कहीं और ……हम चले Jordan। Jordan जहाँ Dead Sea के किनारे हैं,जहाँ crusaders की लड़ाई की दास्तान हा,जहाँ वादियाँ हैं,बाइबल की कथाओं के ज़मीन है, खोया हुआ एक शहर है और उसके खोने की अनसुलझी पहेली है।

आज पहला दिन है ।दिल्ली से अबू धाबी और वहाँ से अम्मान ।सबकुछ ठीक ठाक चल रहा था।दिल्ली के उड़ान थोड़ी देर से चली पर अबू धाबी की फ्लाइट दौड़ भाग कर मिल गई।सामान भी सही सलामत पहुँच गया।

पर पिक्चर में twist तो तब आया जब हम वीजा लेने पहुंचे।यहाँ बता दें कि Jordan जाने के लिए visa on arrival है और जाने से पहले एक Jordan Pass लेना ज़रूरी है। अम्माँ पहुँच वीसा लेने पहुँचे तो उसने हमारे कोड़े पासपोर्ट को दिल्ह पूँछा आप अमेरिका से हैं,अमेरिका का वीसा है या यूरोप का।सब नहीं नहीं बोल दिया गया तो उसने हमें पुलिस वाले के पास पहुँचा दिया।लगभग एक घंटे मगजमारी के बाद पाँच मिनट में वीसा का ठप्पा लग गया। कुछ और भी माथापच्ची हुई,समय बर्बाद हुआ पर फिर हम रवाना हो गए Dead Sea के लिए ।

अहमद जी हमारा इंतज़ार कर रहे थे।छ लोगों के टीम के लिए एक ट्रैवलर नुमा गाड़ी तैयार थी ।पहले दिन का प्रोग्राम था की शाम को हम Dead Sea में तैरेंगे और बाद में करख जाएँगे ।airport में देरी से कुछ उलट पुलट हो गया और हम सीधे पहुचे Al Karak जहाँ एक पुराना क़िला है । Amman से Al Karak का रास्ता भी गजब सुंदर है| Amman से दक्षिण की ओर कोई डेढ़ घंटे का रास्ता है| Medieval जमाने यानि Crusades के का बना यह castle ईसाइयों और अरब मुस्लिम के बीच हुई जंगों का भागीदार रह चुका है।जहाँ कभी सैनिकों के आने जाने,नाकाबंदी की कहानियां,एक पूरा शहर था इसमें ।चर्च था,कमरे थे,खाने पीने का पूरा इंतज़ाम। अरब राजा के हाथ पड़ा तो मस्जिद है ।castle उस जगह की सबसे ऊँची पहाड़ी पर है और वहाँ से नीचे की घाटी और दूर दूर तक सब दिखाई पड़ता है ।बड़ी strategic जगह है और उस ज़माने में इस क्षेत्र पर अधिकार जमाने के लिए उपयुक्त।

हमें वहाँ गाइड करने के लिए मिला याहया,जो कारक यूनिवर्सिटी में इतिहास पढ़ता है और जिसके पिता ने दिल्ली से MBBS किया और कारक के अस्पताल में डॉक्टर। नमस्ते करते हैं और भारत की आबादी से नाराज़ है ।

उतर कर चल पड़े हम Dead Sea की ओर। यह रास्ता ग़ज़ब का था।हम अब नीचे उतर रहे थे। Dead Sea समंदर के स्तर से नीचे है। दाई ओर थे पहाड़,कोई पेड़ नहीं,भूरे,हवा के थपेड़ों से उन पर नाक नक़्शे सब बने हुए हैं । अहमद ने बताया उस वादी में एक hiking trail भी है जो समंदर तक जाती है ।

कहानी तस्वीरों की ज़बानी!

A birthday note to myself

  I am all of 60 years.

 But no big bang celebrations today.

 I will tiptoe softly and enter the 61st. I will gently ease into the decade of my sixties. 

 I want it to be a low-key entry telling time to be gentle with me.

 I want my heartbeat to be steady and not miss a beat I want the blood in my veins to not scale new heights nor plunge too deep, 

I want the sweetness to be of my smile not of blood sugar. I want my hands to be busy with work, my feet to keep walking, to be awake and keep moving, to sleep the sleep of the dead. 
I want to tiptoe softly into the sixties, dance a waltz, and hum a catchy song. I want my still undyed hair to grey like a diva’s, I want the wrinkles to be those of smiles and the eyes to still hold their sparkle.

 I want to be naughty and wise, I want to be playful and steady,

 I want long treks and short talks.

 I want the comfort of my people and enjoy my own company. 

I want the grass green on both sides and to smile when flowers bloom there or here. 

I want to wake up with a smile on my lips and a spring in my step and there be no wrong side of the bed.

I want a zen space and some hustle bustle. I want the humdrum life and a spike or two of adventure.

I want the silence and I want the noise.
But for now, I want to tiptoe and let time not know that I am sixty today.

Written on my 60th Birthday 30th August 2024

Lost and forlorn

 Home becomes a house 

I went into the empty house today

The four walls and lifeless furniture

They were once home.

The walls echoed our laughter 

The dining table laden with delicious dishes;

The kitchen bubbling with activity 

The floor busy with running feet. 

Home is not the four walls or the 

Beautiful paintings that adorn it; 

Or the carpet that was a favorite with mom 

Or the table and chairs bought with so much haggling and choosing. 

Not even the kitchen and the dainty China tea set 

Look inviting now.

All have memories 

But those who created the memories are not there 

One of the two is no more with us.

And the other so independent, so loving, so strong 

Perforce leaves her home to be dependent.

And the home is just a house 

Plants watered, her birds looked out for her for some days

And then flew to other places.

This home is just a house now.

 20th November 2021

Lost life

 The dreams there are none now

I cannot see ahead

Do not look forward to the next day 

A day struck off my life as night falls. 

Counting them on the calendar

Just bottles inside

Holding all my emotions

Noticing with mask on

And a zip on the lip

I cannot speak my mind

I live a life inside my head

A place where I am laughing

And crying

Shouting

Loving

I am hysterical

Delirious

I jump with joy

I fight

Where I get up in the morning with a smile

A lazy stretch

Look around to see the morning sun in my window Look forward to the day

Sing my favourite song

Hum a tune

Embrace the day.

The dreamer just dreams

And lives shadow lives

With open eyes the dreams vanish

And inside the head a world is vibrant 

And the heart beats to a different song.

Wisdom

Travel times are always the best times

lands of different cultures

Different history,

Different geography

A world so unknown 

every region,every piece of 

The earth

Has a history as old 

As our Planet 

Grandmothers who weave stories

Grandfathers whose faded eyes are 

Clouded with memories

Customs and traditions 

And the music and dance 

From the great great great and 

Many more 

Grandparents 

The once upon a  time, 

 Retelling,

Story times 

The traditions of gathering 

And recounting 

So that  ancient wisdom survives

Struggle stories pass on 

Ancestors live through us 

The past is the present 

In the future 

Each piece of this planet 

Has a tale 

Rich,

Learning from nature 

Being one with her. 

Ancient wisdom

Was taught 

Listening to the winds 

And understanding them 

Watching the sun’s path 

And marking it 

Feeling the farmlands 

With the heart.

The birds,the trees 

The wild and the tamed 

The lion and the snake 

The dark forests and 

Mighty mountains 

When men were part of them and they 

Of the men 

Stories and tales woven around 

Worshipped 

Part of the household.

Worship rituals and divinity 

Habits and daily routine 

Sun worshippers and 

the sacred moon 

Solstices and equinoxes 

The waxing and waning 

The folklore of the earth 

On a tortoise 

Every corner has its interpretations 

And oneness with Nature.

 

Morning peace

 Every morning before dawn 

I wake up to see

The first blush of the day

I feel the  pleasant breeze that brushes

the leaves 

Caressing the birds nests

To awaken them 

I hear the early songs 

Under the

Morning star 

And the pale moon merging in the blue sky

Wisps of clouds float 

Before the mighty sun 

Melts them 

I close my eyes,then look up 

My heart is open to 

the morn’s delights 

My soul is blessed 

With divine rays 

In those silent moments

The universe sends a message 

Of peace and comfort.

I am one with nature and

United with the cosmos. 

 

Spoiler Alerts and end is the beginning

I have started reading a thriller and I turn pages part  skipping,part skimming so that I can reach the end quickly and know whodunit. At home my daughter laughs at me.She tells me not to see a movie backwards or to open a book from the last page."Mom,you are killing your suspense!What remains in the book if you know the killer?" I tell her the book itself remains.The words remain.The skill of the author in weaving the story remains. 

    I cannot savour the words,the plot,the characters.My mind is always focused on what will happen in the end.Who was the murderer,who was the perpetrator of the crime,who married whom? I just cannot wait till the end to find out.Are you also one of this type? Of course I do not start reading the book from the back but do read the first few pages to get to know the plot.

    After that it is a rush to reach the end.Once I come to know the end,I let out a sigh,I feel relaxed,I am patient and I start reading the book again.This time I enjoy each character,each description,I marvel at the beauty of the places,at the wonderful way a scene has been described.I read slowly appreciating the way the plot has been woven,a thread leading to another or I find fault at some loose end.I find a discrepant note and frown.  

    I do not want to have the thought creeping up again and again of what will happen in the end.I want to finish with that doubt and then enjoy the book.The journey is more beautiful than the destination. Haven't we all read and re-read a favourite book hundreds of times? Haven't  we all watched a movie nth times ?We may know the dialogues by heart and can mouth them before even before they are uttered on the screen.But we find the same happiness and pleasure in all those re-reads and all those re-runs as we had in the first time.

    Many a times I have read some reviews of  TV series and it warns me of  spoiler alert.No problem ,say I. I don't mind them at all.For me the pleasure lies in the acting,in the way a character is formed.I am not half thinking of what will happen at the end,nor sitting at the edge of my seat.I feel the end is already fixed and whether I read it now or reach it in the proper sequential manner it will not change.So I opt for knowing it before hand and then reading the book leisurely,enjoying each tiny bit of the author's penmanship. 

    But this is true not only for mystery books,thrillers,Agatha Christie,PD James and the likes.Even when I am reading a romantic novel or a PG Wodehouse or something as predictable as a Mills and Boon,after reading the first few pages I jump to the last page after starting the book,so that I am convinced of the end.Then I come back to where I had left it and continue with the book.In the case of TV series I search and search till I find reviews with spoiler alerts.For movies I do go to the reviews or the Wikipedia and read the plot of the movie,the cast,the story and then sit down to watch it.In case of some movies and serials I am banned from opening my mouth because others in the family want the suspense to continue.So I am gagged when we watch a serial together.

    I wonder if it happens to other people?What would the psychiatrists say about it?That I cannot take pressure?That I do not have nerves?That I am impatient?That I cannot handle the intense suspense?That maybe I cannot handle tough situations? Afraid of the unknown? Sometimes even though I know the end,I keep hoping that by some extra terrestrial miracle,the end might be different.

Despite what everyone says I still love to read the ending of a book,puncture the suspense and then sit back  read and enjoy every nuance of the plot.And yes I so love party spoilers too !