I have started reading a thriller and I turn pages part skipping,part skimming so that I can reach the end quickly and know whodunit. At home my daughter laughs at me.She tells me not to see a movie backwards or to open a book from the last page."Mom,you are killing your suspense!What remains in the book if you know the killer?" I tell her the book itself remains.The words remain.The skill of the author in weaving the story remains.
I cannot savour the words,the plot,the characters.My mind is always focused on what will happen in the end.Who was the murderer,who was the perpetrator of the crime,who married whom? I just cannot wait till the end to find out.Are you also one of this type? Of course I do not start reading the book from the back but do read the first few pages to get to know the plot.
After that it is a rush to reach the end.Once I come to know the end,I let out a sigh,I feel relaxed,I am patient and I start reading the book again.This time I enjoy each character,each description,I marvel at the beauty of the places,at the wonderful way a scene has been described.I read slowly appreciating the way the plot has been woven,a thread leading to another or I find fault at some loose end.I find a discrepant note and frown.
I do not want to have the thought creeping up again and again of what will happen in the end.I want to finish with that doubt and then enjoy the book.The journey is more beautiful than the destination. Haven't we all read and re-read a favourite book hundreds of times? Haven't we all watched a movie nth times ?We may know the dialogues by heart and can mouth them before even before they are uttered on the screen.But we find the same happiness and pleasure in all those re-reads and all those re-runs as we had in the first time.
Many a times I have read some reviews of TV series and it warns me of spoiler alert.No problem ,say I. I don't mind them at all.For me the pleasure lies in the acting,in the way a character is formed.I am not half thinking of what will happen at the end,nor sitting at the edge of my seat.I feel the end is already fixed and whether I read it now or reach it in the proper sequential manner it will not change.So I opt for knowing it before hand and then reading the book leisurely,enjoying each tiny bit of the author's penmanship.
But this is true not only for mystery books,thrillers,Agatha Christie,PD James and the likes.Even when I am reading a romantic novel or a PG Wodehouse or something as predictable as a Mills and Boon,after reading the first few pages I jump to the last page after starting the book,so that I am convinced of the end.Then I come back to where I had left it and continue with the book.In the case of TV series I search and search till I find reviews with spoiler alerts.For movies I do go to the reviews or the Wikipedia and read the plot of the movie,the cast,the story and then sit down to watch it.In case of some movies and serials I am banned from opening my mouth because others in the family want the suspense to continue.So I am gagged when we watch a serial together.
I wonder if it happens to other people?What would the psychiatrists say about it?That I cannot take pressure?That I do not have nerves?That I am impatient?That I cannot handle the intense suspense?That maybe I cannot handle tough situations? Afraid of the unknown? Sometimes even though I know the end,I keep hoping that by some extra terrestrial miracle,the end might be different.
Despite what everyone says I still love to read the ending of a book,puncture the suspense and then sit back read and enjoy every nuance of the plot.And yes I so love party spoilers too !